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Àäìèíèñòðàòîð Eve: THOUGHTFUL SUGGESTIONS EASE HARD TIMES UNDER ONE ROOF DEAR ABBY: With so many families moving in with relatives because of personal struggles in their lives, I thought it might be helpful to offer a few suggestions to help this work for everyone. If you move in with relatives: 1. Do not assume they won't mind if you store everything you own in their garage. Get rid of it or pay for a storage unit. 2. Help with the housework, even if they say, "Oh, don't bother." And keep your space clean and orderly and assist in keeping a shared bathroom tidy. 3. Show you appreciate having a place to stay. Feed pets, carry out the trash, rake leaves or shovel snow. 4. Do your own laundry. Ask when is the most convenient time to do it. Don't leave clothes in the washer or dryer, which prevents others from washing their own things. 5. If you are paying something toward your stay, don't think that precludes your helping in the home. 6. Work out the food arrangements. Maybe you have a shelf or drawer in the fridge for your food. Prepare your own meals unless everyone agrees to share cooking duties and food budgets. 7. If you don't have a job, keep looking. Don't lie around watching TV, sleeping or playing on the computer. 8. Never gossip about the household. You owe it to the family who took you in. 9. Do try to set a departure date. If things change, discuss it. When in doubt, talk it out. To those who are going through this, I wish you luck and better times ahead. -- LOVING FAMILY MEMBER DEAR FAMILY MEMBER: Your letter is timely because, for various reasons, millions of Americans now live in multifamily and inter-generational households. For some of them, the arrangement will be temporary. For others, it is cultural, practical and will be permanent. Whatever the reasons for cohabiting, the suggestions you submitted are thought-provoking and worth space in my column. Thank you for raising the subject. http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20110623
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Àäìèíèñòðàòîð Eve: Cory Monteith's Turning Point “I’m not Finn Hudson,” actor Cory Monteith says of his beloved Glee character in an exclusive interview in this Sunday’s PARADE with Shawna Malcom. Opening up about his troubled past as he never has before, Monteith explains, “I’m lucky on so many counts—I’m lucky to be alive.” The actor grew up in Victoria, British Columbia, feeling like an outsider. His parents divorced when he was 7, and by 13, Monteith—once a promising student who at age 5 could read at a fourth-grade level—was skipping school to get drunk and smoke pot. Monteith estimates that by the age of 16, when he quit for good, he had attended 12 different schools, including alternative programs for troubled teens. “I burned a lot of bridges,” he says. “I was out of control.” At that point, so was his drug use. Monteith admits, “Anything and everything, as much as possible,” he says. “I had a serious problem.” Afraid that he “could die,” his mother and a group of friends staged an intervention when he was 19. “That’s when I first went to rehab. I did the stint but then went back to doing exactly what I left off doing.” Monteith might have continued down that path if not for what he calls “the crystallizing event.” “I stole a significant amount of money from a family member,” he admits. “I knew I was going to get caught, but I was so desperate I didn’t care. It was a cry for help. I was confronted and I said, ‘Yeah, it was me.’ It was the first honorable, truthful thing that had come out of my mouth in years.” He was given an ultimatum: Get clean, or the family member would report him to the police and press charges. Although it wasn’t the first time Monteith had taken something that didn’t belong to him (“A lot of things went missing when I was around; I had high overhead to take care of ”), up until that point he had avoided prosecution. “I was done fighting myself,” he recalls of his turning point. “I finally said, ‘I’m gonna start looking at my life and figure out why I’m doing this.’” Monteith moved in with a family friend in the small Canadian city of Nanaimo, where he quit using drugs, got a job as a roofer and began the process of rebuilding his life. He worked with an acting coach who put Monteith in front of the camera to do a scene about a guy contemplating suicide. It was a life-altering moment for Monteith, the first time he’d felt the satisfaction of “working hard and being good at something.” The perspective Monteith has gained is part of the reason he is choosing to speak out about his past now. He tells PARADE, “I don’t want kids to think it’s okay to drop out of school and get high, and they’ll be famous actors, too. … But for those people who might give up: Get real about what you want and go after it. If I can, anyone can.” Along with career success have come personal victories. This spring, Monteith received a high school diploma from an alternative school he attended in Victoria, British Columbia. And in late 2009, he reunited with his father for the first time in 17 years. “We’d spoken maybe three or four times [during that period],” Monteith says, “and he reached out to me on Facebook. I couldn’t shut the door, so I got on a plane. He greeted me at the airport, and [he and Monteith’s stepmother] were so happy they were almost crying. It was a good time. At some point, you realize your parents are human. They make the best decisions they can with the options available to them.” http://www.parade.com/celebrity/2011/06/cory-monteith-glee.html
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